Salsa. Coffee. Alcohol. Chocolate. My grocery list mirrors the litany of acid reflux instigators. Google Health informs me that I may be experiencing Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). It so beautifully describes GERD as a condition in which the stomach contents leak backwards from the stomach into the esophagus. Oh wait. So, basically my body is rejecting what it consumed....decided maybe I need to purge myself of what I thought was a good thing. Stupid Maria doesn't know what's good for her, so her stomach is letting her know what's up. I see, I see.
Well Google Health, take note of the knowledge I am about to unload on you. You see, digital doctor, I have over-consumed a little something called Teach for America. It has been churning in my stomach for weeks and weeks now. My body has decided that it needs to come out. Copy this down in your database: Biggoalal reflux disease (BRD). The number one cause is template overload, followed by excessive handouts and crowded seminars. Your body starts to reject the input after an uncomfortable amount, so it crawls up and out of your mouth. You may find yourself spitting off three letter acronyms and referencing student mindsets. It can only be treated by alcohol and chocolate consumption. The problem here is that it puts you right back on track for GERD. You see, once you are affected by BRD you can say good bye to quality health forever.
Where do I get the time for this? I cannot even go to the grocery store. Must put computer down and regain sanity.
Oh wait, an overcrowded seminar awaits me.
Swoop.
Ms. G.
*Disclaimer. I love what I do. I just like to be bitter at times, it's fun.
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